You Don’t Have to Do It All: A Holiday Self-Worth Pep Talk for Busy Moms

By Noelle Rizzio, PEL, LCPC

If you’re a mom in the thick of this holiday season feeling equal parts excited, exhausted, and on the verge of becoming one minor inconvenience away from losing it… welcome, friend. Pull up a chair, grab a peppermint mocha, and let’s talk.

Recently, I watched the show All Her Fault, and there’s this theme that kept tapping me on the shoulder: just because women can juggle everything… doesn’t mean they should. In the show, the main character runs herself ragged trying to “hold it all together,” even when the world around her is falling apart. It struck me that this—minus the crime and thriller-level drama—is exactly what so many of us do during the holidays. Highly recommend the show - btw!

We get superhuman about it.

We plan the meals, buy the gifts, remember the teachers, wrap the presents, schedule the photos, coordinate the families, host the gatherings, and somehow still find ourselves apologizing for not doing more. It’s ridiculous. And relatable. And… unnecessary.

Then, while I was fully immersed in my holiday-themed self-reflection, I watched the movie Oh. What. Fun. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s basically the story of every mom’s December mental breakdown brought to life. In the movie, the mom is drowning in invisible labor while her family floats merrily along, totally oblivious—until she finally snaps. And honestly? I felt that in my soul. Because how many of us have been one more ungrateful comment away from declaring, “That’s it! Christmas is canceled!” I actually remember one Christmas when my aunt threw the tree out the front door!! Amazing!

All of these stories hit the same nerve: women do so much that goes unseen… and even when we’re capable of doing it all, the cost is often our well-being.

And this is where self-worth comes in.

Self-Worth Says: Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Have To

When your self-worth is running low, you start believing the lie that your value comes from what you produce:
How beautifully your house is decorated.
How magical your kids’ Christmas feels.
How perfectly your cookies are iced.
How much you “keep it together” for everyone else.

But your worth is not determined by your output.
It isn’t measured in ornaments, errands, or emotional labor.

A woman with healthy self-worth knows her limits matter. She knows rest is not laziness. She knows being everything for everyone is not a requirement for being loved or appreciated. And she knows that saying no—even during the holiday season—is sometimes the most self-honoring thing she can do.

So What Does This Look Like in Real Life?

Here are a few gentle reminders for your holiday survival kit:

1. Delegate like you mean it.

Your kids can carry plates. Your partner can wrap gifts. Your family can contribute dishes. You are not the holiday mule. Repeat after me: I release the belief that only I can do it right.

2. Not every tradition needs to be kept.

Traditions should spark joy, not resentment. Pick the ones that matter and let the rest go. (Yes, even if Aunt Linda complains. She’ll live.)

3. Ask for appreciation—not because you need permission, but because your work deserves acknowledgment.

In Oh. What. Fun., things only change when the mom stops pretending she’s fine. Sometimes vulnerability is the doorway to getting the support you deserve.

4. Rest is not optional; it’s a boundary.

Self-worth means you protect your peace the same way you protect your kids’ Christmas gifts from being discovered in the closet.

5. Let “good enough” be… good enough.

The house does not need to look like the cover of a magazine. The magic isn’t found in perfection—it’s found in presence.

Let This Holiday Be the One Where You Choose You

If this season is going to “be easier,” it’s not going to be because life magically slows down or because your family suddenly develops the emotional awareness of a therapist. It’ll be because you decide that your worth is not tied to holiday performance.

The most meaningful gift you can give your family is a mom who isn’t burnt out and resentful.
The most meaningful gift you can give yourself is permission to do less.
And the most meaningful gift you can give the world is a woman who knows her value without having to earn it.

This holiday season, remember:
You can do it all.
But you absolutely do not have to.